For some couples, the conversation about getting a vasectomy can be a difficult, touchy subject. Many men have immediate concerns about the procedure itself and how it will affect them in the long run.
While these feelings are natural, vasectomies are overwhelmingly safe and can even improve a man’s quality of life. Furthermore, they are the ideal form of permanent contraceptives, which is very important for couples who don’t want any or any more children. Although the conversation can be a little awkward, it doesn’t have to be. Here are some tips for making the vasectomy conversation a little easier.
Set a Date
Setting up a specific day and time for the vasectomy conversation is much better than just bringing it up out of the blue. For example, if you bring it up as soon as your partner gets home from work, he might be tired and stressed after working all day and won’t feel receptive to the idea at all. Keep these kinds of details in mind when you’re thinking about when a good time to initiate the conversation would be. Find a time when both of you can be relaxed and free of distractions.
Limit Your Expectations
Go into the conversation knowing that your partner might not agree with you right away. Even though vasectomies are very low risk and have quick recovery times, it’s natural for men to be leery of such a meaningful procedure and to have a knee-jerk reaction against it. Simply present the idea and explain the benefits of getting a vasectomy without overwhelming them with too many details.
If your partner disagrees with the idea or needs more time to think about it, be supportive and mindful of their feelings. The goal here is to avoid an emotionally charged moment while laying the groundwork for a larger discussion. Keep in mind that it’s unlikely that you will come to an agreement during the first discussion. When the conversation comes to an end, say something along the lines of “I’d like to continue this discussion in the future.”
After the first discussion, try not to bring the topic up out of nowhere or at random times. You want to give your partner some space to think about it on his own terms without being reminded of it regularly. Whenever you do discuss it, be sure that you’re doing it at a time when both of you are relaxed and can focus on the topic.
Bring the Facts
As the discussion goes on, bring as many facts as you can. Information about how the procedure works and recovery time can help sway your partner toward your perspective. Also, be sure to present comparisons of vasectomies to alternatives such as tubal ligation, which is much riskier and more invasive.